Recently at a coffee shop I discovered a small, local magazine about pets. As I sipped my coffee, I read through the magazine. It had interesting articles and tips such as bathing your dog and adding a new dog to the family. The last page had a quiz, asking how well your pet has trained you.
I took the short quiz, only 10 questions. As I was marking down my answers, I was congratulating myself on how well I listened to my pets.
One question asked when my dog goes to the door, do I immediately let him out? That was a definite yes. That’s the way Emmie tells me she needs to go potty, and Teddy is of the age that when he needs to go, he needs to go.
Do my dogs tell me when they want to be fed? You betcha!
Do I take the toy when Emmie brings it over to play? I do if I can; she’s telling me she wants to play. If I don’t have the time, she has to wait.
The only answers were yes, no and sometimes. 10 points for every yes, 1 point for every no and 5 points for every sometimes. I totaled my score, which was quite high, thinking I had nailed the quiz, and did a great job with my dogs.
Unfortunately, the test didn’t agree with me. The lower the score, the better. A perfect score was 10, or 1 point ~ or no ~ for every question. Oops.
Driving home, I reflected on the quiz. The quiz had been developed by someone who thinks differently than I do about our relationship with animals. In my opinion, the quiz reflected a “power over” relationship: humans are the boss, the animal is expected to do our biding. I believe in a “power with” relationship: working in concert with the animal to develop a relationship that works for all. Yes, dogs always know where their teeth are and how to use them; cats scratch and bite, horses kick and bite. Even with that, I believe, that except for extenuating circumstances, we can co-exist with the animals.
The quiz author and I are at different ends of the animal/human relationship spectrum. Does this make one of us right and the other wrong? Is there a way the two different philosophies can co-exist?
I’d like to hear your thoughts about this. Leave your comments and ideas, let’s get a good discussion going!
Harmony,
Janet Roper
{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }
Hi Janet
Wow this is a great one, let me get the balling rolling if that is ok?
It is my belief that consciousness is evolving, there is no right or wrong it is just our thoughts and beliefs that make it so.
I agree with you 100% and a ‘power with’ relationship really does work. The ‘power over’ people are not wrong it is just their opinion and choice to believe that way. I just feel that some have evolved past that way. However I allow them to have their experience as that is where they are and what they believe is right.
We must work with our animals and the synchronicity of this blog is amazing as I was doing a reading for a beautiful horse this morning called ‘Alfonsio’ who showed me this too.
Take care
Speak soon
Love Michelle
Hello Michelle,
I am tickled pink that you get the ball rolling! You have said it so well: we are where we are because that’s where we are, and it’s OK. I believe it is that beauty which will bring us together in diversity, creating a beautiful unification.
Give my best to ‘Alfonsio’, also my thanks for being willing to teach us humans.
Have a glorious day,
Harmony,
Janet
I have a huge belief that my dogs and I depend on each other and they communicate to me in whatever ways they can to get their needs known. I have one dog that only barks to come back in the house and only if she’s been ignored for quite some time. She has certain looks that let me know what she needs. I have another dog that cries if he wants something, barks if he wants something else. I’m pretty good at knowing his language as well. It’s a learned process and we are all still learning to make each day go smoother. I want my dogs to be comforted and loved, have their needs met on both our terms, and I want their love and respect as well. So far, so good.
Hey Janet,
That was a great post. I am sure I would have failed the quiz in many respects. Control is never a good thing – not matter if it is a pet or people relationship and that is what I consider “power over”. Animals need to learn and understand rules just like people do in life. But they also deserve the respect and love for trying and what they give to us in our relationships.
Take care,
Judy
Hi Judy,
Thanks for stopping by & leaving your comment. I am with you 105%! It’s all about relationship and communication in my book.
Have a good day,
Harmony,
Janet
Hi Shari,
Thanks for sharing your experience with your dogs. It’s a two way street, isn’t it? Bet your dogs appreciate the relationship y’all have developed!
Have a good day,
Harmony,
Janet
While I agree that everyone has the right to their own opinions and experiences, I don’t think that one can truly have a relationship unless they subscribe to the “power with” philosophy. A relationship by definition involves at least 2 individuals – if each is not respected and valued equally, then it’s not really much of a relationship (more like a puppet on a string mentality). It all starts with the belief that your animals have that value, and when you do that, then a real relationship can take place. Maverick and I share a bond that is just as much of a relationship as any of my human-human relationships. He uses the tools he has been given to communicate with me – usually it is just his eyes (he has certain looks that he gives me for different things, and they are distinct), other times he needs to bark or whine and other times he needs to bump into me to get me to pay attention. It’s just like with kids – you need to train them and set boundaries, while not taking away their free will, personality, opinions and desires.
Caroline
Hi Caroline,
Thanks for stopping by and commenting. I agree with you; particularly like the way you described it as a ‘puppet on a string’ mentality. The relationship with animals is there, and it’s just for the asking.
Best to Maverick!
Harmony
Janet