This post will not be everyone’s cup of tea, some people may feel uncomfortable, some people may be shocked, some people may be angry.
I’m OK with that.
For the sake of the animals, the topic of compassion needs to be brought to the table and discussed openly and honestly. Is there such a thing as too much compassion? When is compassion not a good thing?
Here’s there definition of compassion from my online dictionary:
compassion |kəmˈpa sh ən|
noun
sympathetic pity and concern for the sufferings or misfortunes of others : the victims should be treated with compassion. See note at mercy.
ORIGIN Middle English : via Old French from ecclesiastical Latin compassio(n-), from compati ‘suffer with.’
I can’t help but notice that the words victims and compassion are used in the same sentence above.
Growing up, I learned the term “bleeding-heart compassion.” Most of us are taught compassion from an early age. We are taught compassion is a good quality to have, to display, to use. We are taught when we are compassionate, we consider the sufferings of others as our own.
Bollocks.
My suffering is not another creature’s, another creature’s suffering is not mine.
When I take on another’s suffering as my own, I am diluting and dissipating the strengths, talents and abilities I have that can help. When, “out of compassion,” I allow my strengths and abilities to be weakened, I am no help to the creature, and I am certainly no help to myself. I may even be crippling myself. Crippling myself does no one any good.
Do you remember times when you have been compassionate with someone, animal or human, you have been past exhausted and the situation was no better, possibly even worse? Your exhaustion is a symptom you either gave your energy away or you allowed it to be taken form you.
It is not possible to give enough of yourself away to make someone or something better.
My job as an animal communicator is to keep myself clean, clear and free of anything that stands between me and listening to the animals. That means I need to be selfish enough to keep my energy my own, and not allow it to leak out or be siphoned off. I cannot afford to have “bleeding heart compassion” if I want to help and to be effective with the animals. Currently I do not work directly with lost animals because I lose too much of my energy to be effective. The way I help with lost animals is to refer the person to communicators who are able to remain detached and who are experts at finding lost animals.
I invite you to think of compassion in terms of “fierce compassion.” At first glance, this may seem an anomaly, but it is not. To me, fierce compassion means when I help animals I am coming from a healthy place of strength, fitness and stamina. I use my skills and my energy to help them to the best of my ability, without becoming entrenched in their experience. Their experience is not my experience. Should I find myself becoming too involved, too compassionate, it is time for me to step back, clear myself, take a break if needed. After I have taken care of myself and have returned to the animal, I am refreshed and more able and capable of helping and being of value to the animal.
I look forward to hearing your comments on this!
Harmony,
Janet Roper
{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }
I heartily agree.
I remember when I was a therapist in a public mental health clinic, and when I was sick, I took a sick day. A few colleagues poopoo’ed that, saying they came in no matter what because their clients needed them.
My response was that I wanted not only to take care of myself so I wouldn’t burn out, but I wanted to role model FOR my clients what a healthy person does. Not to mention that I disagreed with the notion that having clients “need” me set up a dynamic that wasn’t a good thing in the long run.
I just took a week away from my menagerie to write, the longest time I’ve taken away thus far since owning horses. It was very interesting to me that this time I was the most comfortable about leaving them and didn’t have one of my “they can’t do without me” until the last night of my trip. When I got back, Keil Bay was the most relaxed he’s ever been. In the past, he’s often been distant and mildly angry with me (and has done some uncharacteristically destructive things in my absence).
This time, my comfort level and my feeling that I needed this time, deserved it, and knew they were going to be well cared for must have transmitted to him. I feel like that’s progress for us here. It’s a lot of work, but knowing I can get away when I need to or even just want to makes me stronger.
Thanks, Janet, for continuing to make me think and look at these important issues. This was a perfect post to read upon my return!
Whoops – left out a word – one of my “they can’t do without me” DREAMS is what I meant to type in!
Hi billie,
Great comment, billie. Loved what you said about being a healthy role model FOR your clients, and not having clients ‘need’ you.
I think it boils down to letting the animal/person be free to their own experience; we help, support, but NOT interfere.
Sounds like you had a marvelous time writing!
Harmony,
Janet
Dear Janet,
I completely agree and commend you on writing this. I was just talking about this the other day in terms of reiki. There has to be a karmic balance. I wish I could reiki all the animals in the world and heal them all. But I can’t. I was also taught by my reiki master not to give my energy away. There is even a term called an “energy vampire”. We are practitioners of energy so we need to protect ourselves. That is why when I do a reiki session there has to be some exchange. You are totally right in not crippling your self. I know that when I am in balance, the others around me benefit and in turn the animals that I treat benefit the most and I believe I’m here to help them!
Hi Ming,
Thank for stopping by and leaving your comment. It’s great hearing about energy from a reiki practitioner. Most people aren’t aware of energy, much less energy vampires, that which sucks life out of us. I appreciate you sharing that term!
Harmony,
Janet